june 8th 2021
good evening everyone (sham baby!!!! your if/then story was impeccable kiss me)! it was so hot today but i went outside like 10 minutes ago and it rained earlier and it smelled so good outside god what is it called again oh yeah petrichor,; 'constructed from the greek words petra "rock", or petros "stone", and īchōr, the fluid that flowed in the veins of the gods in greek mythology'
felt sad, happy, starting to feel a bit like i am falling back into old habits, old feelings, things i thought i got over ,and i am trying to figure out what is good for me and what is not so good for me, thinking maybe the schoolwork isn't that bad for other people, maybe i am just overreacting, everyone else is doing fine with it except for me, feeling that Overwhelmed feeling that i thought was only reserved for winter and the short short days and the blue and the sad except now i am feeling it in the summer when everything is supposed to be yellow and hot and happy and i am wondering if there's something wrong, with everyone, with me
and i am writing this at a time where i am unsure of my place, unsure of myself, everything is so tiring and people are leaving and my brother is going to university in a couple months, going away, it will only be me soon
ok onto less serious topics! i finished YOU (the show) &god joe goldberg could get it any day i know he murdered like 6 people but still ! and also am sooooo obsessed with peaches (fruit) rn they r. So good i swear even safiya was like Ok so your mood improved after eating that peach??? and i was like Huh.
and i am thinking a lot about god lately, about divineness in the universe, the cranberry juice that my mom bought that i am obsessed with rn, the lyrics to lo vas a olvidar - billie eilish and rosalía , joey and chandler, the work i have due this week, how tired i am, i am so tired god what do i do
anyway goodbye everyone!!!!!! it's only 10pm but i bet i'm gonna fall asleep soon , here is your customary playlist https://open.spotify.com/playlist/70ZILhna1VxqdqaQLvBm7E?si=b3d85abe0b224799 but my current spins have changed a bit since then i'll update it soon
love love love