the other day i passed my behind-the-wheel test (really easy, didn't even have to parallel park), and i got my driver's license. first try too. i'm really a Real Adult™ now.

i had a tough instructor, some old Vietnamese guy that my family is acquainted with. i actually nearly broke down and stated tearing up during one session with him, i was messing up so often and guy kept yelling and hassling me every time i did lmao. i'm still too sensitive to people yelling at me and it was just making me mess up harder, so. doesn't matter, the next time i was a lot better, and now i don't have to see him again anyways. then the guy who tests me at the DMV literally says at the beginning, "i don't like talking, so you don't say anything while you drive, and i don't say anything except tell you to turn." understandable i guess, didn't make for a pleasant experience, but not an unpleasant one either

some more drama has sprung up with a particular user that i've known about since i first made an account here. that's interesting. happy for everyone that that's all resolved.

yeah i don't know, i just wanted to make a blog post on here today for the hell of it, show that i'm still around. soon i think i'm gonna try messaging active people here, i'm so bored lately and i don't get that much out of this site rn lmao

i still log on here for some reason, apparently there's another wave of tiktok users coming in, and also some kind of crash, which is unfortunate. should always have your CSS backed up, and big props to jankenpopp for creating and maintaining this beautiful website

ultimately, i think more people knowing about windows 93 is really great, this was one of my favorite websites and net art since i was younger, great to see more people exposed to it; i encourage new users to not only try to figure out myspace, CSS, and making friends on here through messaging, but also just poke around everywhere in the windows93 "OS," you'll basically never run out of secrets, sick music, and fun tools and programs to mess around with on here, i guarantee if you love early web stuff, retro games, and old computers, you could be entertained for hours

but for people already on here, i also get that new users can be annoying (even if i don't get messaged by them so i wouldn't know myself xdxdxd), but most of them are gonna be kids right? not to generalize but that's just kinda how any new wave is gonna be. i get disappointed as much as anyone else seeing those pages where the last time the person logged on was months ago and they never changed their CSS and profile info, but again, that's just how it is. most of them are kids, and not to disparage the minors already on this site, kids can be stupid and annoying. sometimes they try new things and drop it if they don't get anything out of it immediately and realize they aren't interested. i know i can still be this way.

if anyone bugs you, just try not to see it as anything more than an inconvenience. ignore and block if you think they're annoying. that's just my opinion, obviously i'm not one to speak as someone who was never involved in any community here. you have a right to complain, i just don't think it's fair to disparage a whole platform and a whole group every time a new wave of users come in.

anyways besides all that, personal life-wise, my laziness is making school hard as fuck for me, i have overdue shit in all three of my classes lmao. only halfway through the quarter so i can probably get over this bad week and salvage it. i'm really questioning if i love learning as much as i thought i did

i don't even participate on this site, i'm not even sure i logged on at all this year

school is going fine i guess, it's all i really feel like i do these days

i really wish i had the drive and skill to work on music production

i've been getting into fighting games lately, if you play guilty gear xx acpr then please teach me things

anyways if you want to get to know me for some reason or talk then just message me on discord or somewhere cause i might not remember this site exists and check it quickly

it was my birthday about a week ago, since October 1st i've been 18 years old

i'd post like a bunch of crappy gifs or animations of balloons and party related things but i'm tired🎉🎈🎊🎃
now i'm an adult and i have to do epic adult things

anyways here's a wall of text about my samey life that no one here cares about

i'm almost finished building my ddr pad, so i'm gonna get sweaty and grind stepmania soon

i'm in university now since the beginning of October, i'm actually typing this out during a zoom meeting haha so boring and so many assignments due soon

i decided to log on here randomly today and i heard about jaden desmond leaving the site, i never talked to him or interacted but i knew he was kind of a celebrity here. his farewell blogs made me realize how little of this site and community i've really experienced, i haven't talked to anyone here personally cause i suck at reaching out to people (turanksulol did talk to me a little on discord but i guess nothing's happened since May and that's it honestly in terms of people from here :/), i was only good at appreciating people's pages really haha

i feel a little lonely lately honestly cause i don't talk to anyone much anymore but ehhhhh whatever, i already have friends and discord communities so it's not like it's impossible for me to feel less lonely right now, i just have to make time for them and take the initiative and i struggle with that so

so yeah idk, maybe i could use this time to focus on myself and school

50 friends achieved
https://files.catbox.moe/mukiup.gif https://files.catbox.moe/9zi2f4.gif
i don't really talk to any but it's cool anyways :)
if you want to talk to me or anything you can message me here or on my other socials and i'll probably check it somewhat quickly
haven't updated this blog but i've been busy helping with my family's store and playing video games mostly
i feel a lot better since school went out but it's up and down and i don't know where i'm going in life tbh
but yeah that's what i'm up to lately :)))))

stir-fried some instant ramen noodles today
they didn't taste bad for my first time
https://i.postimg.cc/nLvJ8FLV/8-D6-A6918-E0-C6-4087-9989-F24-D507-E5907.jpg
this was while i was stir-frying, i didn't take a pic of the final result

i had a pretty productive day in general. also cut my nails today, both fingers and toes. i do not need to show a picture of this

my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts my head hurts
this is actual hell
the whole day i was wishing someone would fucking shoot me
there is so much work
i won't finish by midnight
i don't care
i did enough
i want to personally thank the band members of a flock of seagulls
i listened to their damn space age love song like 20 times today, it just never got old and it helped me
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

update: this is the worst i've ever felt in my entire life. i can't even cry. i'm just devastated. i want to end life. but i'm not supposed to. and i won't. i just have to live, keep going. i feel awful.

update update 5/22: feeling better. this post is cringe

another progress report came in today. they were shit, again. not one A or B, just a bunch of Cs and Ds, and two Fs.
i used to do great in school. i'm pretty sure i never got a C in any class until like 10th grade. i started to slack off around then, there were a lot of days where i'd do nothing but play video games and only spend like an hour on homework after i got home.

i just feel like a loser. i don't want to blame anything else besides myself. i'm getting lazy. it's my senior year, last year of high school before university, and yet i can't motivate myself to do my work so i can actually get in and do something with my life. i feel like i'm letting down my parents too, even when my mom gets on my case about these grades. i don't know what to do. i just keep playing games and messing around on random sites like this and it just uses up all my time. i only have three days left to turn in work and there's just so much of it. i hope today's the day i start pushing myself and finish strong, without getting distracted.

i got a haircut today
instead of going to my usual place my grandpa took me to a friend of his
it was kinda sketch but it turned out ok
place smelled of cigs
and the guy's granddaughter yelled at him for giving people haircuts during pandemic
my grandpa's cool