The nicest hug ever

I'll never be that kind of hamster again.

https://imagesvc.meredithcorp.io/v3/mm/image?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpeopledotcom.files.wordpress.com%2F2016%2F08%2Fjustin-bieber-1-600-3.jpg

When my mother walked in the room, she immediately told me that the hamster that was raping me was my father, so I hugged and hugged my father before leaving the room.

Mom started screaming and said I better clean up, my clothes were all ruined and the hamster would have to be put down. When it was over she was disappointed that she didn't get some of that cocaine. So she took me to the room where I would get my cocaine for the night.

I thought I had done something wrong when my mom looked at me and said something like, "I guess this means you don't have the brains to make this decision" and then she got the money and the cocaine and left, and my life was back to normal.

It's not the first time I've felt like I'm not really a man, in fact I remember my mother telling me when I was about 9 I wasn't a real man because I was too shy to get up in front of people and I kept my head down and I wasn't brave enough to tell my dad that I liked him, but I'm really glad that I did because he was the first person I told and it really helped him see that I was happy being myself.
It was the nicest hug ever, my dad was really nice to me.