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"UNDER CONSTRUCTION !!!!!!!!!"
Non-binary
19 years old
Canada
Last Login: 1623967520000
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1612118092000

Gender Bouquet & Envy

pronouns

  • they/them
  • e/em
  • ue/uem

bouquet

gender envy

  • general
  • voices [note: all of these are essentially the same. they're very similar in pitch and everything but they're all different voices. i include tons of examples because everyone sounds different! so i'm imagining my own voice & speech patterns as they are now, but within the same range/same gender as these voices.]
    • the voice that said "youre supposed to be my lab partner," https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSv55ex2/
    • english dub for rei batsubami [kakegurui]
    • https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSXG4JB9/
    • https://vm.tiktok.com/ZSVtp4LK/
      the look i'm going for
    • "is that a girl? i can't tell?" // this is how i feel about myself & i want to express this outwardly as well. i'd like to be able to pass as both a cis woman and as completely androgynous, depending on what i wear.
    • haruhi fujioka.. if she does nothing and exists in her natural state, everyone assumes shes a boy. BUT if she does as little as just. puts on earrings or somethin, ppl think shes a girl! so its very easy for her to do either one. same thing for rei batsubami, kinda. i know they're anime characters so its unrealistic but idc thats what i wanna be
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1611280068000

CSS Cred

css credits
(https://myspace.windows93.net/?id=41597)
(https://myspace.windows93.net/?id=20970)
(https://myspace.windows93.net/?id=00045)

theme archived 2021-03-02:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/727786161527062549/816525021933600784/unknown.png

2 Comments
1610743006000

Last Episode

when i hyperfixate on a show, i don't watch the last episode. i get scared & i dont wanna finish the series. it's the suffocating awareness that i'll only be able to watch it once. so i rewatch my favourite episodes, listen to the soundtrack, save fanart, etc. i fear that the ending might make me feel something. why am i scared of my feelings?

it's funny that i relate to tsukishima so much because he's the same way. and honestly i felt myself going through his arc with him. i went from "it's just a show," trying not to get too attached because i only ever watch super lighthearted shows that i know wont make me sad. i was scared that karasuno would lose a game or that a character might get injured, and i knew that i'd be sad if it did happen. so i tried not to get too interested. then around season two or three, i finally admitted to liking haikyuu. and i finally let myself get attached to the characters. and it did hurt. i felt really sad for characters like suga and oikawa.

thing is, i think i might have enjoyed the show more if i let myself get attached from the start. sure, i'd feel sad when they lose, but i'd also be so much more excited and happy when something really cool happens. if, when i had the opportunity to watch it for the first time, i was actually into it.. i'd've appreciated it so much more! and i would have had a better time. instead of feeling like i wasted the first two seasons telling myself not to care.

now that i do care, it's a better time than ever to watch the last episode. i'm aware of how special it is to be able to watch it for the first time, and i absolutely appreciate everything that led up to this moment. i know all this, but... i'm still scared. i dont want to watch the last episode.

6 Comments
1610326795000

Tsukki Moved Up

i updated my kinlist to put tsukki higher <3 he used to be my lowest kin but ive really been feeling him lately so he's second highest now. he's even higher than yamaguchi! i really resonate with him as a character and his whole "it's just a club" arc. the way he eventually became okay with experssing his love for volleyball really inspires me! i'm not exactly emotionally repressed like he is, but i do relate to trying hard not to get attached to things. i tend to get embarassed abt the things i like & i get embarassed when i get too emotionally invested in shows. also i'm in love with yams and tsukki is his boyfriend so yknow. i am yam's boyfriend. nice.

6 Comments
1610178996000

Goodnight!

today was okay.

i went to the dentist, which is something i always get nervous for. i hate when they stick their fingers in my mouth after touching something else (like a keyboard or pen) but i handled it pretty well. i just made sure not to swallow the whole time and then when the appointment was over i asked for some mouthwash so i could disinfect.

when i got home i smoked weed as a reward and ate a lot of chocolate ! so i guess today was a net positive. i also ordered edibles which should come in a few days.

tomorrow will be busy for me. i have to

  • find a school to study abroad
  • clean my mice's cage
  • clean my room
  • pick up a package from my friend's house
  • buy seaweed and ramen

i've been going to bed earlier lately. usually i go at 4am but i've been trying to sleep around 2:30-3:00am! i love being nocturnal because the house is quiet at night and i like to avoid my parents, but i'll have to start waking up early again for school, which starts next week ｡:ﾟ(｡ﹷ ‸ ﹷ ✿)

goodnight everyone! and thank you to everyone who commented on my profile today, i really appreciate interacting with you !!!

1 Comment
1610155518000

Favourite Things!

‧͙⁺˚･༓☾　Manga/Anime/Cartoons　☽༓･˚⁺‧͙

‧͙⁺˚･༓☾　Movies ☽༓･˚⁺‧͙

  • Big Eden
  • The Fundamentals of Caring
  • A Mirror Has Two Faces

‧͙⁺˚･༓☾　Music　☽༓･˚⁺‧͙

i mostly listen to anime openings tbh, here's my "on repeat" if you want to see what i've been listening to! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1Epkskact0hveE?si=KbcaPmaORrKg9GpA_JVWKA
my spotify user is https://open.spotify.com/user/bw50uqy9j71ocvp5koo8nf449?si=Ti67okrhTRG7sb8oPqWkUg. i love making playlists for my favourite characters.

‧͙⁺˚･༓☾　Aesthetics　☽༓･˚⁺‧͙

3 Comments