Well this isn't something I planned on, doing this on a whim actually.
I feel like I'm following a trend. So many people have left in the last 2 months, specifically making blogs about it too, which makes me hate the timing for this. I actually planned to quit at 10k, I had everything ready and typed out that day. All I had to do was click send.
I'll never be able to say everything I want to say in 1 blog but I'll try.
When I first joined this website, I took it as a joke. just another way to spend time in class. I looked at this place like a game, and I wanted to win.
But when people started friending me, I grew curious. there were unique pages with different personalities and people, all congregating together.
and I could see it all.
I wanted to see them all.
When everything shut down for quarantine I came back and spent more time here. I developed friendships with people. messing with my page and interacting was the best part. I was fascinated by how someone can visually personify their mind, their feelings, their person so well. I vividly remember the first day I made my account, clicking through the random tab and seeing pages like AOL, death_by_penis and Unseen. people like Bill and Nah Dude, Golden_lib. if I start listing them now I'll never stop. I remember so many profiles hooked me, I started a bookmark folder just for them, which at this point is far too large to share.
it felt new. it felt exciting. it felt fresh.
Now everyone here feels the same. the same 3 themes from paste bin or Github. The same likes, the same dislikes. the same songs. the same speech and style of typing. I liked this place because I never knew what I would find. Now I have to comb through hundreds of pages before finding someone unique or interesting.
I loved the community.
I didn't realize it at the time, but that is by far the thing I miss the most. I miss just knowing people. Now it's an endless sea of one-time log-ons and blank accounts destined to sit and collect dust, never knowing who or why. It's impossible to connect. Back then it felt like everyone knew everyone. We all had a voice. Now everyone is drowned out by an ocean of inactivity.
I know this must sound crazy, ignorant and out of touch coming from someone like me. I've been the second most friended non-tom account since april 23rd 2020. It feels like before you were speaking to a crowd, now it's like speaking to a city. With a crowd there are few ears but everyone was heard. Now there are so many more ears to listen, but so few who will ever hear.
So many of my friends have left. Gone in silence. Logging off for the last time, or leaving because they felt the same as I do now. And some I just don't know why. I think about that. I think about it a lot.
maybe I flew too close to the sun. maybe I burned myself out. Too much of a good thing can be deadly.
I will never forget any of the people I met here. Never.
I think that's it. Time to log off.
I’ll be back in a week or so to check comments but then I think I’ll be gone for good.
My biggest regret was trying too hard. I wanted to be an everyman, someone everyone would befriend. I spent too long trying to listen to others. Too long trying just to get a big number. I wish I had talked more openly and honestly on this website before. Just shared what I thought more.
I had the 3rd biggest voice on the whole site and I never used it.
this is perfectly understandable my dude
i'm kinda sad to be honest. i hope this is your last return, or maybe not. idk. this will be epic if we really want to see you. •́ ‿ ,•̀
I think a last blog would be great happy ending even if it's short. We'll miss ya
im not sure if i should make one last new blog. this one said i would come back around a week later, which would be the 5th, but i have school, then so decided one day early couldn't hurt. to be honest this was a very sad blog and i might make one much happier one as a final hoorah i guess. idk maybe
wow, there were a lot of comments. thanks guys, they really do mean a lot to me. sadly unapproved blog comments cap out at 10 so anything sent before redkyoin's comment I wont see.
Hi Jaden, I can understand why you want to move on. Thank you for all you have given to the community, you'll always be home here :) Good luck with your studies and future projects (your twitch channel is very cool!). I believe that 25 years from now, you'll be rich and famous.
for anyone who wants to look ive saved my page on the wayback machine a few times. ill be moving my bio stuff to my about me blog too
Instagram: @Jaden_Desmond but i'm grounded so don't expect me to respond anytime soon