I don't know why I write. Maybe I like to think of you thinking about me. Do you love Eddie? Nobody does.
Do you like to look at yourself in the mirror? They say if you stare long enough you will see the person everybody else sees. I just see Eddie. Lonely Eddie. Get away from that dog Eddie. Don't touch grandpa like that Eddie. But they can't catch me. I'm like a shadow. But one you can't see. But they KNOW about Eddie. My walls are covered in news clippings excrement. They keep trying to understand me, to get inside my head. They won't. I will get inside theirs with a hot spoon tssssss! Eddie is too smart, aren't you Eddie? Always one step ahead. They locked up Eddie when he was little. You didn't mean to put the baby in the oven, did you Eddie? Naughty Eddie. Cooked baby. I never had any friends. I used to dig a hole and sit in it at recess. Do you like Eddies pencil? Will you show me your scribe? One day I saw a redheaded kid pissing in my hole so I eviscerated him and hung him from the flag pole. I went to a lot of schools. Eddie wets the bed. Eddie wets the bed. You think you're so clever Low? Am I going to have to make you stay behind again Low? No, no, no, no, no. I still have his penis in a jar. Do you think you can make a wallet out of a human lung? Maybe, Eddie, just maybe. Mommy never told Eddie he couldn't her head under the sand. I don't understand the world. That girl at the hardware store who smiled at me when I was buying all the chicken wire and duct tape and told me to have a nice day. Why did she scream and slap me when I followed her home and whispered in her ear how I wanted to nurse on her? Silly, silly girl. Eddie removed her spine like he was filleting a sea bass. I'm good with my hands. That's what daddy used to say. FASTER EDDIE MORE SOAP EDDIE. When was that? Eddie finds it so hard to remember.
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Time is fluid and yet stagnant. One minute I'm home nailing down my scrotum to the kitchen table and the next I'm gouging somebody's eye out with a coat hanger. Nietzsche said that the ability to remember is what distinguishes man from animals. They say that animals feel no guilt but neither does Eddie. Do animals get paranoid? Do animals masturbate? I fucked a dolphin once. Look at Low's teenie weenie! It's like a peanut! In Indonesia they decapitate people for masturbation - they have the right idea. People are so weak and self-indulgent Eddie will indulge you with some fucking battery acid. They forget how fragile they are: that it only takes a second for me to set them on fire or cut their Achilles tendon or pull out their teeth actually takes a bit longer. Very tricky. I'm surrounded by scum and filth. I scrub and I scrub and I scrub and I can never get it off me. All the imbeciles are breeding, infesting the world with their inferior spawn. Complacency. Complacency. Complacency. Have you ever seen a person without ears? Finish your vegetables Eddie. Daddy what is the screwdriver for? Where's your little brother, Eddie. IN THE POND. Three blind mice. Three blind mice. Do you want to play with Eddie? Will you spank me, cut me with a razor and rub lemon juice all over me? Will you give me an enema with a plastic bag over my head? I'm into most things. Boys, girls, old, young. Everybody's face looks the same with no skin. Do you want to go to the woods with Eddie? Let me know. Goodbye for now. So many goodbyes...

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