so yesterday i had an anxiety crisis. by the way, hi everyone who may be reading this shit.

i don't even know to explain what happened, i'll describe how was:

i started crying, so much. so i picked an pill and swallowed it with sink's water. so after this i was ready to take a bath. and, while i was taking a bath, i started to cry more. and more and more and more and more. there were too many tears for such a small body. my breath was over, my belly was completely constrict, and i started to loose my breath. i was breathing desperately, i thought i was gonna die. i started coughing so hard that i almost vomited all the pills.

then, my body relaxed, and i got better. i was shaking but that doesn't really matter. so i just walked downstairs and don't even looked to my mom, because;

everything has a reason.

yay i got caught AGAIN. this is like... third time that my mom yells at me for the same thing. i won't tell what is. but i just can't stop. the only motive i have to live is my 2 friends. but i can't. i just can't. im tired.
every week is the same thing. and i don't wanna even stand still...
but i wanna be alive! my head hurts from crying too much.
i have a house, i have a family, im not poor, i have a nice school, a pyschologist but... something is missing. and i don't know what.

something is missing.
something really big is missing.
missing.

i wanna die.

i can't escape anymore, and that makes me feel desperate. im stuck in a looping that i can't escape from. im sad and angry and happy and sad and angry again. and everyday happens the same thing

uh so today i'll cry and write blogs here because life sucks, so welcome to my very first blog!

today i had classes, and i have an problem w/ my school. since my 4º grade i was having troubles in that hell, im not saying my atual grade, but a few years passed by and i still in the same school. idk what's my problem, if i have a phobia, or the teaches don't like me or is my mental health I REALLY DON'T KNOW. i telled to one of my teachers and she reacted well ig, but my problem is not with her...