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gothmoth's Blog

100 years old
Last Login: 1624750570000
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mary's little lamb

All those weeks i avoided you
i did it in disgust for myself
and i believed that you were a good person that cared about me like a little sibling
but what did you gain?
from all of this. why just now do you tell me?
i never wanted to hear it
and what was i there for?
so that you could use me for whatever perverted thing you've done?
i was a little lamb and you were a wolf who climbed up from behind.
i have no way of defending myself now. i am ridden with bugs that are filled to my core and you-
i could never blame you for anything of this. even though you did it to me.
everything i own is still marked with your signature.
my skills,
any ounce of happiness i might have,
even the keyboard i am using right now.
I wish i could hate you
but I still want to be your friend.

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a phone, and the numbers on it spinning and spinning
i hear the voice of my friend but he is angry.
so he starts screaming
screaming violently and his voice is getting louder and louder
until its so loud
that i just hang up
and i can still hear the screaming
i hate when people fight. i hate loud noises.
please stop fighting

but how can moth say that when just the other day
the insides of them were twisting each other into knots
just to have them dead?
does this crying and fake emotion satisfy your brain?
how comfy it is to nestle in your brain and rest there a while,
little one.

and moth calls to the little cat living next door;
why do the loud noises always come to visit when visiting hours are over?
and the little cat looks up
and meows.

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strange occurences

as a kid i sometimes would feel detatched from my own body.𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝗶 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗱 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗱. 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗲. 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲. 𝚛𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝, 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝚒 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊 𝚜𝚒𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚊𝚛 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎. 𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚔𝚢, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊 𝚏𝚎𝚠 𝚖𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚍: im real? i really exist? no seriously. wait. yeah i do. i'm moth and i am i real person. why? this doesnt happen to me often so i was surprised. the feeling is so surreal that i think theres no way to describe it.

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