um this thing will contain talks abt shifting so pls proceed with caution!!

-
ok so i wrote a lot more on my last blog but it cut off ;-;
im so mad rn hahahah but it's ok

um i was gonna say that i was doing rlly bad a few months ago but now it's gotten somewhat better. and i can't be myself here bc in east europe everyone is rlly judgemental and homophobic like 80% of ppl are. i had to leave most of my actual clothes back in murica. and i can't talk abt my gf obviously but i generally don't do that in public anyway so it's fine.
also my relatives are verry judgemental and homophobic. and a few months ago i was ready to "unalive" i was so sad and i cried every night and my depressive episodes just got relaly bad i was so listless and i didn't wnat to go anywhere and yeah. i should probably get a therapist.

ANYWAY THIS IS TITLED SHIFTING CONVO SO LETS TALK ABT IT!!!!
oh my god i started thinking abt shifting back in august or something... and yeah i haven't been trying consistently every night but i have been trying.

currently i want to shift to Haikyuu, harry potter, mha, and genshin impact. and a lot more places but those are my main 4. i haven't scripted everything yet or anything, actually i don't entirely think scripting is necessary, but maybe that's just cause im lazy.

anyway if anyone here shifts pllssss tell me in the comments omg i'll love u forever

um yeah i hope i can shift soon!!! like i KNOW i can do it it just hasn't happened yet, but it will happen eventually :)
i've rlly been trying to let go and everything and i know that if i'm patient it will definitely happen, lol

and also i'm kinda confused abt my religion. cause i was raised atheist my entire life and then i found out the majorty of my family is orthodox christian and i relaly like orthodoxy, i think it's really pretty and i just like the traditions a lot. and most of those traditions i have been doing since i was little (but without the religion context of it so i just always assumed it was something my family always did). and yeah. but now i've been connecting more to pagan religions, not Wicca or anything but my people's native faith from before christianity. and i've been studying religion. a lot. i think it's super cool. i hope i'm not too lazy to do something with it.

WOOOOW i am so distracted i talked about like 80 different things in this while i titled it shifting convo XDDD i should probably change that

hi guys!!! sry i haven't been on much :c i have a ton of school stuff and tbh i kinda forgot abt this but i don't jwant to forget any of my new friends i have on here ^^
if u read this ur super swag and cool!!
my life is kinda busy rn because i'm in Europe and i'm going back to AMerica soon, i don't want to go a lot but I guess I have to
and all my friends are back there where i live most of the time and i really miss them
anyway my flight is this saturday so yea i'll be back in the us soon
i reallllyyy hope i can see my friends soon and go back to school in person cause i havent seen them in months :c

anyway, in other news, i really really love my gf. like a lot a lot. this is just me pining but um she's really wonderful and sweet and pretty and amazing. i literally love every single thing abt her and idk if i could tell her bc we have only been dating for like a month.
actually we've known each other for like 3 or 4 years and i had a crush on her for so long i just imagined all the times she could be my gf and now i really wanna be all physically affectionate but idk if she's completely comfortable with that and with everything i want to tell her yet so i'm gonna take it slow so i don't overwhelm her ya know?
but for now i'm fine just writing it down here :) um i showed her this website once but i don't think she checks it like ever again so i'm sure she won't read this.

anyway yea she does live in the us ofc so that's the main reason i'm exicited to go back. i want to see her really really really bad. anddd yea

OH um something really cool is that this semester of school i'm taking this class and it gives me a period off before it, so i have like an hour and 30 minutes pause in between these two classes. my gf has the same class so we were talking abt how we could go places during our pause and just like hang out and tbh that thought is relaly keeping me going rn
like i want to do that so bad

ohh also i want to take her on a date but idk where. like ok there are some places i can think of, she really lvoes plants so maybe like a greenhouse or something? or a bookstore? or a picnic? like all those things sound like great date ideas for me. but tbh i'm not that obsessed with dates, like honestly just seeing her a couple times a week for a few hours is enough for me.
idk if she likes "traditional" dates or anything tho o-o i might ask but eh i'll probably wait until i'm back

also also, while I was here in europe i may have bouht her a ring. i kind of wanted it to be like a promise ring but then i read that promise rings should be given after like a year of dating and it represents a serious relationship. i mean i know i could change the context if i wanted to but it was intended to be a promise ring so i won't.
tbh i am already prepared to invest myself into this relationship and i really want it to last, and i want to show her that i'm serious about it and i love her a lot and i'm ready for the commitment.
but like i said earlier i think she's more used to taking it slow, so for now i'll keep the ring somehwere in my room lol and wait to give it to her.
if i push too hard to fast i might push her away and i would never ever want to do that.

also it's kind of a cheap ring. like it's not expensive at all but tbh, i don't care at all abt that stuff. like obviously this is far off, but if i ever get married i literally wouldn't care if it was like part of an old fence shaped into a ring shape. you know i just think it's really silly to worry about how expensive the ring is and if the diamonds are real and all that. like it's judst a ring, i think the actual importance of the relationship is more important than what kind of ring it is.
idk what my gf thinks about it though so i'll have to ask her one day.
not that i'm planning to marry her yet, i mean we've only been dating for like a month but well... if i said i haven't thought of our future together... that would be a lie.

i can't wait until we're all comfortable being affectionatte and stuff like that :> it's going to be

wow this is cool. I never actually had myspace so i wasn't sure what to do once i did my theme except now there's a blog to do lol

i wonder if people read these or something