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toldurm's Blog

"Kick till the boots are worn"
18 years old
Last Login: 1624899415000
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I'm back.

Along the last year, I had to study for my university entering test which didn't result as i expected. It was my last step on that sh*tty education system we have here. I missed having free time but i feel guilt even doing anything other than studying since I'm not used to it.

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Best lyrics I've ever seen.

Songs I can relate to their lyrics

Slayer - 213

Erotic sensations tingle my spine
A dead body lying next to mine
Smooth blue black lips
I start salivating as we kiss
Mine forever this sweet death
I cannot forget your soft breaths
Panting excitedly with my hands around your neck

Shades are drawn
No one can see
What I've done
What's become of me
Here I stand
Above all that's been true
How I love
How I love to kill you

Rammstein-Weißes Fleisch

Du auf dem Schulhof
ich zum Töten bereit
und keiner hier weiß
von meiner Einsamkeit

Rote Striemen auf weißer Haut
ich tu dir weh
und du jammerst laut

Jetzt hast du Angst und ich bin soweit
mein schwarzes Blut versaut dir das Kleid

(You, in the schoolyard
I am ready to kill
and no one here knows
of my loneliness

Red welts on white skin
I hurt you
and you cry loudly

Now you are scared and I am ready
my black blood soils your dress)

The Smiths - Never Had No One Ever

When you walk without ease
On these streets where you were raised
I had a really bad dream
It lasted 20 years, 7 months and 27 days
And I know, alone
that I never, ever oh
Had no one ever

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Importance of my internet existence

I wrote a shitload of things (4000+ chars) about internet personalities and my life. And decided it is not any of you guys' business. Haha, how miserable am I...

Long story short; It's really weird the fact that my writings here can be used as a evidence in future accidents that might happen. And they'd be like "oh see, we should have understand". Fuck 'em.

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All Favorites [Categorized]

My Favorite Songs

  • Soundgarden - Gun
  • Death - Misanthrope
  • Accept - Son of a B*tch
  • Venom - Genocide
  • Venom - Welcome to hell
  • Venom - Teacher's Pet
  • Doyle - Dreaming dead girls
  • Sarcofago - Satanic Lust
  • Morbid - From the Dark
  • Megadeth - Set the world Afire
  • KMFDM - Godlike
  • KMFDM - Dogma
  • Sarcofago - Nightmare
  • Sarcofago - Satanas
  • Rammstein-Weißes Fleisch
  • Rammstein - Wilder Wein
  • Misfits - Last caress
  • Slayer - 213
  • Slayer - Necrophiliac
  • Flotsam and Jetsam - I live you die
  • Cannibal Corpse - Stripped, Raped and Tortured
  • Behemoth - Lucifer
  • Hellhammer - Eurynomos

My Favorite Bands

  • Venom
  • Sarcofago
  • Megadeth
  • Slayer
  • Soundgarden
  • Motörhead
  • Pearl Jam
  • Morbid
  • Mantas/Death
  • Darkthrone
  • Mayhem
  • Rush
  • Bathory
  • UFO
  • Morbid Angel
  • Accept
  • Manfred Mann
  • Testament
  • Flotsam and Jetsam
  • NIN
  • Dio
  • Overkill
  • Pantera

[I can't fit all of them but those are the top]

My Favorite Movies

  • Clockwork Orange
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Reservoir Dogs
  • the Usual Suspects
  • Girl, interrupted
  • Heathers
  • The basketball Diaries
  • Scream

My Favorite TV series
(I don't watch series that often so there's few)

  • My so-called Life
  • South Park
  • Wandavision

My Favorite Games

  • The Elder Scrolls games
  • Doom (every one of em)
  • GB Zelda games
  • Pokemon
  • Sally Face

(Fun fact: My dumbass can shoot perfectly without an aim assist but cannot beat snorlax)

My Favorite Anime

My Favorite Actresses: Natalie Portman and Uma Thurman



"Get to know me" thing


  1. What is your biggest fear?
    -not finding a good partner i can be myself /w.
  2. What is your favorite family vacation?
    -The ones I can rest my head for a min
  3. What would you change about yourself if you could?
    -Everything about my appearence. Esp; my nose and height.
  4. What really makes you angry?
    -Everything makes me angry but the "most" is ignorant people that thinks they know eveything.
  5. What motivates you to work hard?
    -Nothing. I have none of that most of the time.
  6. What is your favorite thing about your career?
    -I'm a senior so...
  7. What is your proudest accomplishment?
    -not being a dumbass i guess.
  8. What makes you laugh the most?
    -high people making jokes, i really dk why.
  9. What did you want to be when you were small?
    -I wanted to be a ballerine, not even close.
  10. If you could choose to do anything for a day, what would it be?
    -playing games?
  11. If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be?
    -lots of surimi :)
  12. Who is your favorite author?
    -William Burroughs.
  13. Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not?
    -I do if it's a present kinda thing. But others surprising with food makes me lose my temper.
  14. Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island?
    -Natalie Portman please.
  15. If money was no object, what would you do all day?
    -get tf out of this country and get a house abroad.
  16. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to?
    -my birth, just like the butterfly effect movie.
  17. How would your friends describe you?
    -i really don't know.
  18. What are your hobbies?
    -to play bass, write css, play vid games, listen music and sketch.
  19. What is the best gift you have been given?
    -I don't receive gifts that often.
  20. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without?
    -my twin? We've never got apart since our birth.
  21. List two pet peeves.
    -being a poser and being bigoted.
  22. Where do you see yourself in five years?
    -i don't.
  23. What would you do first if you won the lottery?
    -Fuck em college, I'm moving to my own house and opening my own bar.
  24. What form of public transportation do you prefer? (air, boat, train, bus, car, etc.)
    -most of the time bus.
  25. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?
    -birth of humanity. We were a mistake all from the beginning.
  26. How many pillows do you sleep with?
  27. What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)?
    -around 48 hours. I was a 12 year old trying to prove a point.
  28. Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence?
    -intelligence is the key, but being a ugly fhead is so hard. cannot choose.
  29. How often do you buy clothes?
    -2 times in a year if I don't want some band shirt so bad.
  30. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
    -it was so obvious, he carved our names on a school bench? If only he knew...
  31. What's your favorite holiday?
    -I hate holidays.
  32. What was the last book you read?
    -Faust by Goethe
  33. What's your favorite type of foreign food?
    -Japanese cuisine.
  34. Are you a clean or messy person?
    -sometimes I'm over neat sometimes so lazy to wash my face.
  35. What's your favorite fast food chain?
    -I'm liking Popeyes recently.
  36. Do you love or hate rollercoasters?
  37. What's your favorite movie?
    -Clockwork orange atm.
  38. How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out?
    -I never thought it was a thing.
  39. Is your glass half full or half empty?
    -I drank it.
  40. What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love?
    -talk. Might look simple but I don't do that irl.
  41. What was your favorite subject in school?
  42. Do you collect anything?
    -used to collect glass water bottles, now it's dead animal photos. Don't get me wrong, I'm not murdering them.