venting

im so fucking done with life. school is making me feel like absolute shit. failing every class. mom telling me to try.but i am trying, im trying so hard in life. i dont know what to do. sometimes i feel like committing su*cide so everyone else can actually care about me. but i stop myself and think about that one person who hasnt left me. sage:)<3 i love him to fucking death. but sometimes i feel like he dosent even care about me. actual soulmates..? who knows. a soulmate who wasnt meant to be. i havent talked to him in 3 weeks. i miss him so much. i sometimes think im lonely,but im not.

im fucking tired of everyone, everyone keeps on juding me,makes me feel uncomfortable, makes me feel like im useless. im just so fucking tired of smiling and acting like everything is okay. its not okay. not even my loverboy cares. did i disappear from his life..? im sorry i wasnt enough, im sorry, im sorry. i try to be nice to everyone but cleary that isnt enough.