i found a really really cool person. im trying my best to think of myself, but he is just on my mind. he makes me feel very nice and i cant help but wonder how he is doing right now and how he's sleeping. he's in bed now, i know that from being there, i just wish i could be there with him. theres no way he could see this but im sending you great vibes, wonderful sleep, and a nice day ahead. please feel better soon, we need to go skating :)).

why are people so mean. i don't mean to be apart of anything, is my aura bad or do i have karma out for me? i don't understand.

Sounds like a stretch, but I've heard more and more people talking about their experience with shifting into a new reality. If any of you have done this and it really exists, or if you want to share tips, stories, etc. please tell me how I can escape this reality for a little bit. It sounds super interesting and exciting, and I don't want to sound gullible, but this is something I could get behind.
Best,
Lilly

life is so big.
i can't help but look the universe in the eyes and ask her why i'm still here.
why am i here at all. why is my appearance one that has to make a presence in such an unsettling life. i cant help but want to go. and i feel like a baby for feeling that the world is weighing heavy on my shoulders, because people still have it worse, even though it's all about perspective. it's easier for me not to make this apparent though. not push it all down, but enough so i don't hurt everyone i know. how can i want to die when all i have is good? some of it's been tough and continues to be, but why does it feel like torture? i want to learn to love life, but every mistake, tear, argument, stressful situation, feels like 10,000,000 steps backwards. am i overly emotional, or is it their fault for me being that way? i've figured out that the sobbing fits filled with suicidal thoughts are actually anxiety attacks. hence the heart palpitations, short of breath, fatigue, tears, fight or flight and suicidal thoughts/ideation. i'm in so much pain. and i don't want to hurt the people i love that love me, that why i know i cant go, but its so hard, and im too scared. i wouldn't go to that extent but everytime i have a new anxiety or panic attack, i become a step closer to convincing myself that would be the best route.

this is my first time on a "myspace style" platform and i love the atmosphere.
i think this will be really fun and i'm excited for what is to come.
also, i need to know how to not be sad, so if anyone can give me some tips it would be very appreciated :)
best,
lilly

i cannot figure out how to change my font color via css >:(
any help involving ways to change text color would be amazing
best,
lilly