ok so i've really been struggling with my mental health within the past year. it's been a constant up and down.
throughout the month of may, i was having a manic episode. it resulted in me cutting off almost everyone around me because i feared that i would disappoint them/cause them their own issues. however, i ended up hurting them anyway (due to me cutting them off) so that went welllll.
anyway, i recently made up with most of the people i ran away from, but i couldn't do that with everyone. the people i did lose helped me realize that i really want to get better. i want to better myself not only for others, but for me.
it's bittersweet in a way. it sucks that i had to lose the ones i loved most to realize that i can't keep self-sabotaging, but it's good because now i'm actually going to improve.
so this is me doing that. :)