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"Kal | they/he "
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16 years old
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Why Comphet Only Applies to Gay Women

I'm sure that most of us are familiar with the term Comphet, or Compulsory Heterosexuality.

But for those of you who don't know, Compulsory Heterosexuality is the idea that heterosexuality is assumed and enforced by a patriarchal heternormative society. It basically refers to the idea that heterosexuality is so self-evident and expected that gay women can be convinced that they are actually into men.

I feel like the definition in itself pretty much sums up why only lesbians/gay women can experience comphet, but if you still don't understand I can go more in depth for you.

Lets refer back to a specific word I used in the definition for Comphet earlier. "Patriarchal". Patriarchy is a society in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it. This means that men cannot be forced into heterosexuality in the way that women are, because the patriarchal society only oppresses gay women in this way. Society expects women to like men, and want to be with men, and even serve men. It does not feel the same way about other men.

And you may be saying "but kal, society wants me, a mlm man, to be straight as well". And you're right. but it's a different experience for gay men, it isn't comphet. Society doesn't expect men to like women because they feel like women exist for men, but they feel that way about women.

What mlm men experience is heteronormativity, which is the belief that heterosexuality is the "default".

What I'm saying is that only gay women/lesbians experience comphet because society expects them to want to tend to men's every need, sorry, this was just like a little rant.

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