do you ever feel like everything you have been working out is for nothing and you are lost? i feel like everything i do is just to please my family in reality i dont do what i want to do

so hello everyone!
idk how to use this but imma try, maybe i'll recommend some books or fanfics or like idk some music? maybe i'll just write my thoughts? we'll see! also idk what this markdown syntax is so just saw this. is this gonna work.
hopefully.