Guys guys guys if y’all wanna talk to me fluently, check me out in discord at Chippy#8513 :3

like many others on this site, I'll be taking off until August, due to summer, more on that in my last blog

anywho, this is my last note on here for today (and probably 3 months), this is Slamalamadin, signing off

I know people probably don't often read my blogs, but please read this one

I think this might be my last day online for a good while unfortunately, I'll be back in around 3-4 months, I promise

I don't know how things will go from here, as next week after finals I'm turning in my chromebook

I've had a ton of fun on this site, thank you for all the experiences here mates :)

I might have minute appearances over the summer break, but I don't know for sure unfortunately

For now, this is a farewell to all the guys, gals, and nonbinary pals I've met during my time here

Auf Wiedersehen,
(depending on how you know me)

• Chippy
• Orion
• Slamalamadin
• Brayden

The suckiest thing I have to deal with besides my parents likely, is my visual snow syndrome

it's considered a very rare disorder, in which the affected have a constant film grain effect over what they see
check out Homotoast's page for an example of what we have to see, or check out this nifty simulator

https://visionsimulations.com/visual-snow.htm

We all experience it at different levels, but to best demonstrate mine, select a background and put Density at 0.85, Speed at 17, and Grain Size at 1.635

it's especially noticeable during dark times, giving me extremely shitty night vision where I'm practically blind, also seeable in a dark background when selected

it's so annoyinggggggg it's 24/7 that I have to see this, it hurts my head/eyes if I stare at f'ing anything

hey guys, just wanted to address that I might be inactive for around 3 months starting around the end of May, as my school chromebook will either be going away (back to my school), or I won't have a feasible excuse to be on here, as Summer is starting

this is kinda bittersweet because "yay, summer!" and all that but I'm also going to miss everything I've taken advantage of while being an online 'learner' for school, as when I go back to in-person next year, I'm not sure if I'll be as active on anything at all anymore

For those of you who want to keep up contact, a mostly active email account of mine is Chipsahoyohboy@yahoo.com
if you email me there, I'll try my hardest to keep up contact :3

I guess this is my form of a kin list lol, I've finally done it boys

• Teenagers, by My Chemical Romance

• The Stroke, by Billy Squier (I know, I had to look up how to spell the last name too)

• True Faith, by New Order

• Holiday, by Green Day

• East Jesus Nowhere, by Green Day

• Peacemaker, by Green Day (I know there's a lot of Green Day, I'm a Green Day fan)

• Say Goodbye, by Green Day

• Feeling Stronger (High Maintenance Remix) [Ft. Charlotte Colley], by MUZZ (yes I listen to and love EDM)

• Cold as Ice, by Foreigner

• Turning Japanese, by The Vapors (good tune, the lyrics and their meaning are wack lmao)

• Detachable Penis, by King Missile (this is an joking like but the song is honestly beautiful, please listen to it)

• Field of Hopes and Dreams, by Toby Fox

• Because We Can, by Bon Jovi (I can guarantee Americans on here have heard it, it's a forgotten song)

• Sarcasm, by Get Scared

• The Kids in the Dark, by All Time Low

• Backseat Serenade, by All Time Low

  that's about all I can think of off the top of my head, more coming soon! (Either when I think of them, or when I hear them)

okokok hear me out
also when I say this I'm talking about biological sex (go LGBTQ and all but we don't play a factor in this question)

So in the terms of chromosomes, X determines female characteristics and/or just being a place holder in chromosomes, and Y determines the development of male genitalia and systems

XX will always be female, and XY is almost always male (because sometimes, rarely, the sex will draw from the singular x instead of the y)

what would a YY be?

like I know chromosomes come (one from each) from each parent, but what if an XY male impregnated an XY female?
There would be a 25% chance in base genetics that their offspring would be YY

Is this the alpha male everyone refers to? /j

My idea of what YY would be reminds me of the joke of Bills at a bar, and at the end Cherno Bill is revealed, exposing his multiple sets of genitalia lmao

in case the title cut off (I'm too lazy to check if it's 40 characters), the title says 'Just realized how weird I am'
(edited segment) also this is a loooooooooooong post, apologies in advance, it's likely not worth your time unless you care about me for some reason lol (edited segment finish)
anyway

I just noted how
peculiar
my personality is
reason I say this is because I have all the energies of the dank memer, the Anarchist, the closeted kinda quiet kid, the class clown, and the smart kid thrown into a pot and stirred with the chemical X of being an extrovert
These aren't even separate personalities
This is just what my personality is in general lol
I have no clue how to even describe it
I've honestly kinda always been terrified of going to a psychiatrist because even though I've been telling myself my whole life I'm a terrible person and such, I'm kinda terrified of just being told it by a professional
I spend so so so much time trying to make life better for others, then at the end, I don't even feel good, because even though I did it with good intentions my mind goes "Nope! You did it so that others don't call you selfish, you maggot." yet at the same time, I feel good because even apart from my struggles, even if it were for selfish reason (which it isn't[?]), others still benefited from it
and while I take that positive from it, my brain goes back to saying the same thing
Some days I'm super wholesome, others I appear edgy
but I'm just going through this same thing every day
this same stupid cycle
of basically my brain asking me these questions:

Are you worthless?
>if no, reevaluate, fucking maggot
>if yes, stop self pitying, fucking maggot

I don't even sleep most nights because it's just this kind of question over and over
While I want to justify it with something positive, another side of me doesn't want myself to get that satisfaction
Like my brain doesn't want me to turn into a monster like my parents or something..
and while I try to detract a positive from that too, my brain still argues with itself

I even started this blog post as a sort of extension of my bio but it's turned more into a sort of self discovery diary page in a way

I think the reason I love self affirmations so goddamned much is because it's not something my brain is telling me, it's not something for me to feel guilty for, like how everything else feels.

my mind often balances in a sort of bipolarity, but not even emotion-wise, but more as a

Are you feeling good about yourself?
>if yes, stop that, piece of trash. You can't have that kind of narcissism
>if no, stop pitying yourself and 'trying' to get others to fall for that shit

even though none of it is an act, none of it is a trick, and I'm well aware of this

it's still what my brain says

I am even forcing myself to post this because now that I've wrote so much, my brain is telling me I'm a selfish narcissist for merely having anyone read all of this junk

I want to say please tell me I'm not the only one like this, but I also don't want others to have to suffer with this qwq

Also if you got this far, thank you, it truly means a lot to me :) /gen

and on that note, goodbye random reader and/or Drails

signed,
loooong poster

except for reddit lmfao

anyways I got a bunch of mods for my Skyrim

My favourite, is the NPC ejector
it's a spell that if I point at an NPC within video game shotgun range (so close enough to hug), I just flippin' YEET the NPC
I got it as a joke initially but it proved to be a reaaaaally good battle spell too because I can be fighting a really hard enemy and if I'm about to die, I just flippin' yeet the bad guy and run at him and punch him until they're dead lmfao

my second favourite is a Glock 18
no explanation required