Tw// intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation

God life is hard sometimes. So hard I fantasise about making it stop. Here are some discord messages I sent earlier. Lately I've been struggling with thoughts I don't want. Thoughts I shouldn't have and things have been tough.
Everything should just stop
[20:53]
Forever
[20:53]
there's a river near here
[20:53]
I'll go on a walk tomorrow
[20:54]
Maybe swim in the [redacted to protect my privacy]. (by swimming I meant drowning myself)
[20:54]
it'd be cold tho
[20:54]
I'll bring a jacket
[20:57]
Im sad i just wont be able to write anymore stories
[20:57]
Its ok tho
[20:57]
Its fine
[20:57]
Im going to miss listening to mitski
[20:58]
Yea
[20:59]
I'll miss reading tbhk. (toilet bound hanako kun)

I know a lot of people struggle with what I do, which is why I'm sharing how I feel, I think maybe it could help someone and that's the sole reason I'm making this. If you feel the same way I do please seek help.
https://www.suicidestop.com/call_a_hotline.html has a list of hotlines from all around the world
0800 1111 childline is a child protection service in the UK
https://www.mhanational.org/get-involved/contact-us Mental Health America offers a helpline to get you in touch with the service you need

OK so basically I made this page to talk about my struggles and use it as something similar to a diary. I'm doing this because a) I'm dramatic b) I want to spread awareness and make people who feel like me feel less alone and c) as a springboard to destigmatise mental health . I will linking helpful sites and add trigger warnings along the way. If you want to speak about your mental illness / struggles you can message me an anonymous submission. I'll be making a Google doc with all the blogs on it. Thank you, stay safe <3