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s0ybean's Blog

"middle school harajuku kid"
21 years old
United States
Last Login: 1624583978000
Contacting s0ybean
All Blogs (3/10)

a rough night

i had a bit of a rough night with gracie (long distance gf) last night. i hadn’t really talked with her much over the past few days and i had a lot of pent up emotions.

she’s a great listener, and she never seemed to mind when i’d vent, but i guess over time my venting turned into talking badly abt myself and it made her really upset. i feel awful

she’s honestly the sweetest person i know and i feel terrible knowing that i was making her sad. i want to be better.

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getting my shit together

i’m trying rly hard to get my life back to normal. it was hard enough leaving ed treatment, but then i crashed my car, ran out of money, and relapsed.

it sent me into a downward spiral, but i’m finally starting to pull myself out of it. sometimes i wonder why i’m still fighting, and i guess i don’t really know yet? it would be a hell of a lot easier to just give up on life, but for some reason i’m still going.

i got my job back, and the repairs on my car will be finished tomorrow. i’m also working on the relapse with my therapist. i’m trying.

all i can do is try.

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drinkin monster and thinkin about life

hi. uh... i don't really know how to write these. i kinda feel like an idiot just talking to myself lol

i'm going to ed residential treatment soon. not sure how i feel about it, since i'm fat tho... idk. i just hope i can recover soon. i'm really sick of hating myself.

anyone else on here currently struggling with an ed? does anyone have any advice?

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