just venting

i'm in the atlantic for sail atm, and i'm listening to french alt rock in between watch shifts, and i'm wearing the jacket that made him say i look like kurt cobain, and he lives in my head on loop today, bc he's so fucking fine i could actually die, and we kissed, and it's been two days since and i feel like the kissing was just a dream i had and i'd much prefer if it was, because -- does he know he's holding my entire heart in his hands? can i bear to let him hold it?