poop

Who the fuck just "ends up pooping?" That concept is alien to me. I plan my poops out for at least three days in advance. Location, position, music, everything. It needs to be the perfect environment. Nothing is left unchecked. If I pee, I pee. If I poop, it's bombshells and grunting for an hour. Intentionally. In fact, if I ever feel a poop coming on and it's not time yet, I force it back up. I AM THE COMMANDER OF MY BOWELS. GET BACK IN THERE, SCUM.