a poem i wrote crying at 3am

I look at myself and weep,
the sorrows of the bedsheets and ropes of the swings
my hands grab tight and put burn marks in deep,
creating creases and a physique of pain
and bleakness.

I watch as you leave beneath those sheets
and the memories of your teeth in open
and the blood caressing to the surface creating a deep
reflection of purple and bequeath
and now im listening to the fan of my home
quiet, until a word is spoken
no matter the words i say
i still protect you like a sheath and no matter the secrets you have underneath

I love you.

and until the ends of days
that weep of sheets and bequeath
will always be beneath my head and burned in my brain
like a bloodstain on carpet
unable to wash out like a blaze
glazed upon the trees of my mind like I'm on drugs or in haze.

I love you.

But you lie,
and whether you choose to go with suit and tie
or an salute of salitude to thee that pollute your
cries and say your good byes.

I love you.
and i promise ill forget
ill forget you and the tissues
the cries and sadness
that sounds like a duet
and I promise I'll forget the fortified ties
that once were prominent like
rye bread, and the smells of a banana pancake breakfast on
the flatness of your stomach and the ideas that were in your head.

And honestly, I don't want to rhyme no more
because I just want to say I'm sorry and leave it at that.
Be the strong guy that I never was,
Be the one that came along with happiness,
not the one who lets out long sighs
and exhales of fear.

I'm sorry.

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a7/08/74/a70874a8231536ac194533cd8ee89e6f.gif