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"I see BIG things in your future. Like my boobs!"
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Elvira's in Salem

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Whew, now, I got a story for you all. I went out to Salem before valentine's day, after all, it's February, the month of love! I could totally make a bunch of money with my love potions, you know, maybe get a little fun myself. I hear all the ghouls that come out are totally to die for! I come to Salem, and it's filled to the brim with police! (apparently someone had the idea of selling illegal and fake love potions before I did) and witches everywhere are getting investigated! I didn't know what to do, I had a bag full of liquids, and I was going to crash at my ghoulfriend's house, but I didn't know where she was! It wasn't long after that the police even got to me! So, like any girl would, I used my charm to lead them in. Then I said I was gay, and they left me off the hook. If I learned anything from Justin Beiber, it's that you gotta use sexuality to get out of a sticky situation. I swear, it's like the police of Salem hate me. I'm always arrested, or getting caught!

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