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[DAVE]:
I was sittin' around, in the middle of night, all bored with nothin' to do
I called up a friend, he put some stuff in my end, I taught him a hundred different ways to screw

[JOHN, spoken]:
Oh, Dave!

[DAVE]:
I conksucked his boots, touched his immigrants, the chips just started to fall
Now, after the night, I was given a fright:
A baby tummy shaped like a ball. Damn, John

I'm havin' a baby, and the baby is you
Birth my best friend, it's true

[JOHN, spoken]:
Oh, no...

[DAVE]:
I'm havin' a baby, and the baby is you
Koalababies up the avenue
I'm havin' a baby, and the baby is you
My ovaries are out the wazoo

[JOHN, spoken]:
Oh, no!