christ on a cracker!

i had an entire 3 paragraph apology? typed out and when i clicked post the whole thing was deleted because myspace is a bitch and logged me out. anyway a dramatic 3 paragraph apology isn't the way to go anyway. i have a lot of problems and i have no self control, and i ignored my issues and i ignored all signs of "hey this is bad. stop" (i also can't always tell where the lines of rude vs ok and this is ok vs stop doing it are.) i continue to ignore my extreme social/emotional problems and dump them onto everyone. partially out of anger at people who do it to me. no, i don't wanna hear about your dead dad. i came to talk to you about the zodiac killer case. so then i'm like "to get back at The Society We Live In, i'm going to make everyone listen to my problems so they know how i feel when people do it to me." so basically i am an elementary school bully. it probably gets a lot deeper than that, but i don't like thinking. i do enjoy trying to find the absolute root of all problems though. anyway, i'm sorry to trollbox members (outside of the abuser) for crimes of elementary school bullying. i know this apology is filled with jokes, (or "jokes" if your sense of humor isn't absolutely eroded like mine is) but i am seriously sorry. humor is just the easiest way for me to get things across or something. soon i'll be talking to one of my doctors (psychologist? psychiatrist? i don't know) about these problems. it can take me a long time and some big mistakes to realize that i have some of the issues i have. i'm not sure what else to say besides mental illness isn't an excuse for being an asshole. i have to learn to not ignore my issues so that they won't contribute to me being a bitch. until i'm sure i'll be able to interact with strangers in a way that won't be harmful, i'll stay away from all windows93 stuff. i might go to the actual site to play solitaire and do that maze 1000 times but that's different ok. sorry if this apology sucks i still don't know where the social boundaries are. peace and love and fucking whatever. ballcocks. jake out