The things I had to say

Last night, taking a stroll through the images of days long past,

my girlfriend stumbled upon a certain video of mine. A fourteen year old girl, alone in her childhood bedroom, wears a thick, wavy, lilac wig, and jumps along to A Little Less Sixteen Candles, a Little More “Touch Me”. I jokingly remark that in that moment captured on film, I was the happiest I've ever been. We discuss a little further before she proposes me a question:

"Are you happy now?" The question sat in the air before me for an almost uncomfortable amount of time. Only four words, yet they were powerful enough to push me onto my back in the bed we were sat on. I knew the answer, but vocalizing it was daunting. It was almost as if I couldn't allow myself to confirm it. But still, I did.

"I am. I think I could be the happiest I've ever been." I couldn't look at her when I said it; my peripheral view of her was enough. I stared into the ceiling knowing that if I did directly look... tears.
She didn't say anything, only smiled, wrapped her warm arms around my body, and laid her head on my heaving chest. This is what it feels like. At one point I thought I knew, but relatively, I had no fucking clue.

To be loved.

In the past 30 days, our relationship has completely changed. At long last, the sprout we’ve been carefully nurturing has blossomed and from here, as a unit, we look towards the sun in the daylight, and tuck our petals and leaves in come nighttime.

It took an innumerable amount of bravery, honesty, trust, understanding, and that big word to reach this place, and god is the weather nice. As far as my eyes can see, there is only up from here, and we’re ascending at an exponential rate.

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