endless sadness

I'm tired of my life the worries only manage to asphyxiate me stronger and stronger to the point of having purple skin from resisting so much, I don't understand why since 25/04/20 my life became horrible in all aspects I only think about dying or that it's time to sleep because I can't stand all this situation anymore I know I'm an adult and that I must leave my fantasy world in which I lived so long but it's still difficult I can't stand it anymore