nobody

honestly at this point i'm considering ghosting everyone i know at this point because everyone is just friends with me cause they love to pity me or they feel bad for me, like no stop it pls. and i had a crush on this girl and she liked me back a lottt but i think it was my fault. each day i can feel her loose feelings and idk how i can live with myself after being the second choice for the 5th time in the last 3 years...idk why ppl find it hard to love me, i feel like im cursed because for some reason im still attached to this other boy i loved and i still do and its been 3 fricken years since he gave me a disgusting rejection...he treated me like garbage but some how i still love him a lot and i dont know why but my attachment issues are really bad and at this point im used to being abandoned because they ether give up on me or go to their first choice, i dont know what it feels like to be the first choice but whatever it is im thinking about focusing on myself instead of my horrible love life haha.