lukas and chopin: my escapes from

hey everyone it´s me aylock. i wanted to tell you guys about how my life's been going. it's honestly been a pain and i've been struggling with my mental health and self-esteem. surprisingly enough, i don't feel like taking a break from social media. maybe it's cause this is my only escape, or cause i have online friends that need me, but i don't wanna be subconciously disappointed at. speaking of escapes, i've been escaping from my family situation through three things, Lukas, classical music, and reading fanfiction. you are probably wondering who lukas is.

lukas is an oc i've made who i "talk to" through an old notebook and my phone. whenever i feel like ranting, or telling random tidbits of information to, i just pull out a pen and write. this calms me because my writing is illegible, and i can literally show you this. i'll show you all in a different post, so you'll see how crazy my writing is. lukas is the dick-bestowed version of me. he's essentially a copy of me, but he does weed and is 5'9". we share music tastes, and in my mind, we cry together. i've never told anyone in my life i do this, and i am kinda scared that this is more proof i'm mentally ill. as scared as i may be, i know i'm weird in the brain, and the proof would realistically calm me down about this.

another escape for me is listening to classical music. look, i'm even listening to it right now as we speak. i'm listening to Piano Concerto No.2 Shostakovich right now. it's calming, like talking to lukas. i usually listen when i'm feeling negative emotions, and it helps immensely. listening to classical music is so much fun. listening to opera is even better. i usually save opera for nights when i have to release my bottled up emotions, which are now fridays at midnight. i cry until my eyes get sore, and chug a couple gallons of water to gain back the water i lost. online school, abusive family, and the lack of breaks from life definitely make a perfect combo for bottled up emotions to generate.

anyways i gotta go change up my playlist, see ya later!!