mental health crisis

this might not be the right place to put this but nobody's home right now and i need somewhere to say this. it's gonna be kind of long so don't bother reading through it's really just a vent
i have no motivation to do anything. i'm so tired/ i keep hoping that maybe if i get a good night's sleep i won't be tired anymore but every morning i wake up feeling just as tired as i did when i go to sleep and its really frustrating. i feel like i can't tell any of my trusted adults because they're going to treat it like it's the end of the world like they did when i was having panic attacks. and then they'll send me to another therapist who i can't open up to because i can't trust them and we're gonna go in another cycle of my just talking about how much my dad invades my privacy every session while i drain my family of money for therapy expenses that aren't doing anything for me. i don't know what to do but i feel horrible that i'm failing my favorite class because i can't bring myself to do anything other than stare at the login of my school's website while music plays emptily in my headphones when i get a new assignment. my mom wants to see me succeed in a school environment so badly but i'm just a burnout gifted kid who never got the support they needed and i hate admitting it. everyone has such high standards for me and i'm watching all of my peers reach them when i'm just falling short. i hate feeling like a failure and i hate it when people tell me they're disappointed in me. i've been trying to keep my head above the water by trying new art techniques and getting out the games that i used to love when i was younger but that isn't helping with my schoolwork. every time i try to focus on something it feels like my mind goes blank and i'm so frusterated about it. i don't know what to do.