29mar 2021

how are you? i still think about you everyday and sometimes i even dream with u, i dont know why this keeps happening. ive been asking myself if i still love you but i dont even know who you are anymore and this scares me a lot
i remember a lot of things of this time when we just hang out together after school and stuff...i was so happy about just spending time with you
hope ur doing well, i really hope. and i miss you, i miss talking to you even when i felt so anxious about it that i couldnt barely speak, and i remember that u used to get mad about it...i mean i dont blame you i was really shy and quiet around you and it get on my nerves too
i had so much to talk but just couldnt. i think u know that because i used to write a lot for you...it was better that way, everytime i opened my mouth was chaotic anyway
i never wanted to make you feel uncomfortable, and i think i failed a lot on that point. im sorry. im sorry about everything
im a master in mind reading you know? and i really feel that u hate me right now, i dont know exactly why but i know that i deserve it. i blame myself a lot because all of this. i think i made u feel really bad and i cant sleep properly because of this
has been so many years, i wonder every day if im going to keep thinking about it and feeling this way forever, will i keep dreaming about you every week? will i be able to love someone else one day? i dont know...everything is so weird and i feel like a sick person for keeping all of this with me for so many years
do you still have that old sketchbook? i hope he makes you think of me in a good way someday