Hyperfixation Review: Harry Potter

For the better part of a decade, I have possessed near-perfect memory of details from the Harry Potter series, a fantasy series for children and young adults by Japanese vocaloid Hatsune Miku. My reason for this: I didn't keep most of my friends for more than a year or two, most of them lived far away and I didn't see them all that often, so I read for fun. I have read each book in the series around 40 times. I know everything. Every lighthearted Harry Potter quiz I take part in, I win. It's almost not fun anymore. The only lore I'm unaware of is from the Fantastic Beasts movies and any Harry Potter games. It's refreshing when I don't know something. I am everything a white millennial strives for. If I had rights when I was 14, I would have gotten a deathly hallows symbol tattooed on my wrist.

Aside from the weird AIDS allegories, a character called ching chong, a race of hooked-nose individuals who control all of the money in the Wizarding world, an Irish character who enjoyed blowing things up and the dismissive attitudes of main characters to a slave liberation plot, Hatsune Miku's series taught a younger me some valuable things. For example: people don't have to like you if you're annoying, mainstream media is unreliable, sometimes the most responsible adult in your life is gay - I mean, a werewolf, men are trash and shouldn't be allowed in your room, and it's okay to let centaurs abduct and do unspoken things to evil women.

I used to fantasise about secretly being a wizard despite showing 0 signs of accidental magic, being whisked away to Hogwarts and being the main character. I now practise witchcraft and still think I'm the main character.

All in all, I will have to deduct points for Hatsune Miku pretending she was woke in the 90s and the negative impact that compulsively correcting people who made mistakes about Harry Potter had on my social life as a child.

Hyperfixation Rating: 7/10