im complainin so dont click if u dont

ig i should put a TW in case people don't like hearing about religious stuff so here it is
oh god this is juicier than when my mom came at me for liking Billie Eilish in 2019-2020.
ok so my mom is brushing my hair that i wish i could cut off (yall i really think i would look good with a buzz cut but anyway)
and I'm on an iPad looking up 90s grunge cause that's the look I'm trying to go for but anyway and i quote she goes "you know what bothers me about this is that there are too many white people on here like i havent see a single black person on here" so im like cause i did not want to deal with this today bc we have been over this MULTIPLE times "we literally passed 5 black people in the span of 2 minutes ma" and shes like "show me" so I DO AND SHES LIKE "its a predominantly white culture" LIKE WHAT LITERALLY ON TIKTOK THIS BLACK GIRL WAS LIKE YEAH SO ACTUALLY WE MADE THIS BUT GO OFF RIGHT? SO IM LIKE WE LITERALLY MADE IT WE JUST DIDNT GO MAINSTREAM BECAUSE WE NEVER GO MAINSTREAM BC WE ARE BLACK (don't quote me on this cause i might be wrong but yk what f it) AND SO SHE'S LIKE "i was a teen in the 90s i know what grunge stood for and most of those people were high and devil worshippers and thats how kurt cobain died blah blah blah and as christians we are light and stuff and blah blah blah and all this darkness and messages in these songs are bad blah blah blah" AND IM JUST INTERNALLY SCREAMING AT THIS POINT RIGHT? OH MY GOD AND SHE CONTINUES AND THEN AFTER ALL THIS bc i left cause i was like im done she bout to mess up ALL of my mental health she goes "alana come here" RIGHT SO IM LIKE kill me now please im begging you and she looks me dead in the eyes and is like "look i want you to be yourself blah blah blah and i know how it feels to be called white girl and stuff" so in my mind im like is she fr rn when she literally just argued with me for a good 5 minutes about me being grunge because its a predominantly white "devil worshipping" getting high culture thats shes never been in and now shes apologizing by saying shes been through the same thing? so then why did u come at me in the FIRST PLACE WE HAD THIS CONVERSATION BEFORE and I'm prolly running out of characters so in all shes making me get a new devotional bc the 5 on my shelf was not enough for her and bc i was looking at 90s grunge on google i guess? i don't know anymore and maybe I'm upset for no reason and maybe I'm acting like "nobody understands me my parents don't understand me" and i feel like I'm being selfish but I'm upset and i didn't know what else to do but rant about it on my blog so thanks for listening to me tho i appreciate it