idek ;-;

I can't stop crying. I don't know why. I was just staring at my screen and broke down. I tried to talk with my friends, hoping they'd help me feel better, but they only made it worse. I can't talk to the person who truly helps me because whatever relationship we had slowly deteriorated over the course of 2 1/2 weeks. He's become distant and rude. I can't say good morning anymore without him telling me to shut up, die, or to go fuck myself. I just miss how we were. We'd talk everyday about everything. And now I can't say one word without him making it seem like he genuinely hates me. The last 10 months I've been the only one there for him. I've been the only one he trusted to talk about how he was feeling with. I took care of him mentally and yet in return I get nothing but hatred. I've recently been tossed into a really bad situation where I could be potentially kicked out and I told him about it. All he did was make jokes. I risked so much for him and this is how he repays me. I'm not saying I expect some big gesture, but some human decency would've sufficed. I'm almost 100% sure he means it all as a joke, but he doesn't understand the toll it takes on me. I haven't said anything to him about it because I'm afraid I might deserve it in some aspects, but I still want it to end. I can't keep doing this. The other day it seemed like no one wanted anything to do with me and I just cried. I saw myself in the mirror and I couldn't stop laughing. I hated it, but I couldn't stop. The tears nor the laughter stopped for almost over an hour. I genuinely can't do this anymore. I'm so scared and tired. Also, apparently sharing emotions with the public is "creepy" and "annoying" so I'm sorry if I overshared I just needed to say all this.