murdering derek

Hi, MySpace fans. So.... you may be wondering, who is Sofia? Who is Derek? Well.... one thing at a time.
You see, Derek(o), AKA he/him lesbian, is a vile piece of shjt. Anyone who sees him will realize that instantly. He hasn't showered in fifteen days, his hands smell like salami, and he is fatter than Lizzo.
The issue with him, past his obesity, is his relationship. You see, he is in a relationship with Sofia. This poses an issue as Sofia should be marrying me.
My plan: Kill Derek. It shouldn't be hard. He's much too fat to run far anyways.