I´m tired and happy.

I´ve haven´t been feeling like myself lately, and its pretty strange, it hasn´t happened, since I discovered that i was Gender Fluid, I have the body of a girl, but me, as myself, I like to be called a he/him, i´m not transgender, its just that he/him pronouns make me feel more happy, more valid, like; i like the idea of being called handsome, or your doing a great job kiddo. Ik ¨kiddo¨ is free of pronouns but, it makes me feel safe. But then I put makeup on, and I like to be called ¨beautiful¨ ¨cute¨ and everything else that has to be with the word ¨beauty¨ yk.
Yesterday night I told this friend of mine how I felt about my pronouns, and they called me a ¨handsome boy¨ I felt really happy, I cried... But its ok, it was happy tears, idk, right now i´m tired and happy.