kinda vent??????????????????????

i've been feeling rlly insecure lately nd i haven't been eating, yet no one noticed even though both my parents nd grandparents know i have a history of eating disorders, unhealthy ways of modifying my appearance nd unhealthy coping mechanisms <33

i don't think i'm going to stop however because i can see how thin i'm getting nd somehow that makes me happy?

i'm so confused and i just want to know what's going on

i get really frustrated and storm of to go do something like cut myself or modify my sucide note even though i know it'll make nobody happy in the end

i've also been so dysphoric and have been binding wayy too much lately

i've already ended up in the hospital multiple times due to my ribcage basically breaking under the pressure of my binder

and people still call me a girl.

i don't know what to do nd sorry for vent k goodnight