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The Types of SubGenii

A SubGenius is an ordained, dues-paying member of the Church of the SubGenius. In some cases, someone could be made a SubGenius by someone else. The common plural of SubGenius is SubGenii, but SubGeniuses is also used.
Only SubGenii get to go to Planet X on the Pleasure Saucers when X-Day comes and get to have cool titles. SubGenii are descended from Yeti and are sometimes called Yetinsyny, and the ones obsessed with "Bob" are called Bobbies. The SubGenius must have Slack! The Brag of the SubGenius is the most amazing brag ever, and is true for any SubGenius.
There are many SubGenius rituals, such as "Bob"tism, casting out false prophets, meditation, Forbidden Science experiments, and production of Xtranormal videos. Here is a video of a typical SubGenius, Rev. Mark Mothersbaugh, lead singer of DEVO, where you can see how SubGenii usually deal with Pinks who try to ask them stupid questions:
All SubGeniuses fall into one of the two primary behavioural categories: REWARDIAN or EMERGENTILE. All Rewardians, however, bear Emergentile traits to some degree, and vice versa.
REWARDIANS seek timelessly to reward themselves for things they are "about to do" by piddling in pure Slack Abuse, 'getting by' with as little effort and as well-greased mistakes as possible on the Path of Least Resistance. No
longer interested in the Be-Here-Now, they prefer the "Be-There-Later." They believe that slacking off all the time and not doing any work unless absolutely necessary is the best way to get Slack. Often misconstrued as a totally unconstruc- tive, slothful lifestyle, Rewardianism is actually a Holy Quest for the sacred principle of Something for Nothing.
Rewardians strive (not very hard) to become perpetual motion machines, fueled only by the welfare of the Pink World -- which is to them but a phantasm, a mere illusion in this vale of nonexistent material things. If nothing else, they at
least become expert Floorsleepers and Tubemasters. A rich or industrious spouse is a welcome partner on this sacred road.
EMERGENTILES, on the other hand (the left, symbolically), follow the 'yoga' of the Anarchocapiltalist. They thrive on emergencies and make sure that their lives are filled with them. Emergentiles find their slack in getting things done that they want to be complete, often under pressure (deadlines, legal trouble, threat of physical violence, etc). They insist that the dogma of finding one's own slack means their choice is as valid as the lazy bum Rewardians, and often think they get a better "reward" than those who do nothing 24x7. They prefer 'swimming upstream' and work best under panic conditions. They're always "punishing" themselves for fun they might have later. Were there no Emergentiles, the Rewardians would all starve to death, and this fact gives Emergentiles great secret satisfaction.

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