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Feeling.

hello, my name is jamie.

it's starting to feel like i'm in this routine of people being the nastiest to me, lashing out, not caring about their tone and not being understanding. it makes me feel like i'm crazy. like i'm on this totally different wavelength to everybody else

i grow attachments to the most two faced people. usually i'll write a poem, or write a short story to get over my feelings. hell, i'll even Vent sometimes. but these last few times i've grown so... weary, and full of dread. one of these people are on myspace, and one of them is a friend i've known for 5 years. i'd give anything for them to understand me fully. to understand my thought process or be on my wavelength.

i take a step back from my life and all i can see is this shallow hole that trauma once fell into. but the hole's all full. now it's piling up high. i no longer see talent, opportunity or a viable future. i don't see a complex personality or something more. last year i was homeless twice. both times were because of something i had not done. a lie made up for attention. now when i tell people that it feels normal, like it's something everybody goes through. but it's not. my life has been twisted and moulded into one big circus act. i don't feel like i can go on breathing anymore when every breath pushes me towards more hurt

this might be my last ever time here depending how things go the rest of today, i apologise in advance.

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