anger and confusion

im frustrated. i never get to talk about stuff i struggle with. i have to stay quiet. but im also told to talk about it more??? i dont understand it. im just so confused how to do things in moderation. i just cant. i even do things and hyper-fixate and talk about it all the time, or i just physically cant do it, or i forget. i hate it, and i hate myself. im angry that i cant do anything in moderation. not even feel. i either feel so much, or feel basically nothing or not that much. its a struggle everyday. i dont understand things in the same way. and people expect me too. i dont understand tone or the meaning in things. so in my mind, since i cant understand, it doesnt exist to me. and people are mad at me over it. im bad at having good relationships. my family invalidates me and its so painful. this is the only place i get to rant. im just so confused and angry. im constantly told "try hard enough and you'll be able to do it". ITS NOT THAT SIMPLE. relationships for me are confusing. im just confused and angry. im just kinda feeling bad today, so i had to rant :(.