postal dude was born in paradise and he still lives there now. when he was born, the doctors thought he was very FAT.
doctors: congratulation ms. dude you have given birth to a healthy baby boy
postal baby: screeching
doctors: shut up you are FAT
and his childhood was okay, i guess. when he would go to school, he would get bullied for being stinky but that soon stopped.
and now, his teen life. he got a girlfriend named postal dudette. they went on a date to mcdonalds and it was really great.
what is postal dude doing now? he's sleeping on his couch and drooling after he has had a long day of chores and wreaking havoc on humanity. OH GOD, WHAT IS THAT HORRIFIC SMELL? oh wait its just our boy!
Grandfather of Jimmy Joe Billy Bob, cousin of Johnny Joe Billy Jimbo Bob!
my kind of guy